Feeling the stresses of the upcoming surgery are starting to take their toll on me. I try so hard to remain positive and happy that it is becoming more difficult as the days go by. I continue to show anger toward my husband and I am not exactly sure why. I have heard that you take out your frustrations on the ones that are closest to you, unfortunately that is Mike. I know that none of this is his fault, not the loss of his job, not Livie, not the renters moving out and not the financial situation we have found ourselves in. I love my husband more now than I did the day we were married. He is my rock and keeps me focused. I am going to need him more than ever these next few months.
My stomach remains in knots most days, I am extremely exhausted and my hair is falling out. I am losing hair the size of small animals but, am assuming it all has to do with stress. Thank goodness I have been blessed with a lot of hair.
I find that I am trying to find comfort by eating. Unfortunately that is not working out so well. It is only starting to piss me off that I am gaining some weight back from what I lost when I had Livie. I really wish I could just remove my sweet tooth and be done with it. If I don't turn to food then who or what do I turn to? I would love to talk about things to my mom but I hate to burden her or anyone else for that matter with my problems. It is the burden that I am scared of. The burden of taking others time to listen to me. Burdening them with my sadness and the fear that I am feeling. I don't want to burden others with my problems.
I believe that God is answering our prayers. Mike has found a new job and we have found renters for our house in Michigan. We received a donation from Women's Night Out in Estherville. It was such a wonderful surprise. That has prompted us to start the Livie Fund. There have been some donations made by others and we appreciate your help so much. There is no way to ever thank everyone for all the support and prayers we have been receiving. On Saturday, March 5th, 2011, we plan on doing a lia sophia fund raiser for Livie in Estherville however the location is TBD.
I received this in an email from a friend of mine last night, Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you. Praying this is true.
Jennie if you ever need a babysitter so you guys can enjoy a date or just a couple hours alone let us know! Also if you need a workout buddy I could drive down to you and hit up a gym over there. There is nothing better than some sweat to relieve stress! :)
ReplyDeletePut your worries & fears to the Lord! He will not put anyone through anything one cannot handle! It is so hard to believe and do when times are so low and tough but it really works! Keep your faith, hope & prayers going. You WILL make it through!
ReplyDeleteI will say more prayers for you & yours. (:
I know we don't like to talk to others about what is troubling us but that is what family & friends are all about. Even if you just want someone to listen as at times no matter what one says or does doesn't change anything, it just feels great to get it off your chest and know you have some support and so many love you & will always be there.
"Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7
Heather