As I have stated in my previous blogs it was so hard to admit defeat. My family was out of money and I didn't know what to do. Thank God that I am like my father-in-law and forgot how many cans of beans I had in the pantry so I would buy one more can each time I went to the store. We had food to eat for a while and with my mom helping us my pantry stayed stocked.
I love my mom and enjoy the lengthy conversations that we have on a daily basis. I cried on her shoulder lots of days during this time. I would hear everything she was telling me but, I wasn't really listening. Finally, I started to listen.
I used to hear the words, state help, and just cringe. I wasn't ever going to have to be on Foodstamps or need state assistance. This type of assistance was for people too lazy to get a job and for people who prefer to sit at home and do nothing. I soon found myself at the WIC Office in Dakota County. Mike, me and all 3 girls were there for our appointment. You have to actually bring your children with you to prove that you have the children plus you need Social Security Cards for each of them. As I sat in the office looking around I was wondering how many of these people had been here before or if like me it was their first time. I would smile nervously at others or not make eye contact with them for fear they could see the embarassment on my face for having to ask for help. Mike and I were failures. We couldn't support our family. Here we sat in the WIC Office hoping they would be able to help us so we get some groceries. I wish I remembered the young ladies names that helped me that day. They were so nice and I am sure they could tell that I was very nervous about being there. WIC stands for, Women, Infants and Children. I was able to get help for myself and all the girls. We were now getting monthly assistance for food staples that you would find in everyone's fridge. Milk, cheese, eggs, bread, fruits and vegetables, cereal, and formula are among some of the things we could get at the grocery store. This was such a blessing for our family.
The first time I went through the line in the grocery store with my WIC checks I didn't know what I was doing. I of course went during the day when I didn't think there would be many people there, especially anyone that would recognize me. The lady checking me out was so nice and explained things to me. I told her that I didn't think that I would ever have to take advantage of these types of things but my husband had just lost his job. She looked right into my eyes and told me that, I shouldn't be embarassed and that I wasn't taking advantage of the program. The program is here for people who need the assistance. Be thankful that you have this. She wished this program would have been in place when she was raising her kids. Wow. I didn't know what to say other than, thank you.
Being on WIC has really helped our family a lot however, we were still falling short with all the bills coming in. I researched other things online that could maybe help us out. I came across the CAP Agency, Community Action Program. You could apply to receive heating assistance. I applied but, still have not heard back from them. I also found online information regarding food stamps. My next stop was St Paul, to see if we met the criteria to receive food stamps. We did and receive a small amount monthly in food stamps.
I still find it embarassing to admit that we are receiving this kind of assistance. I don't know if it is embarassing because we have had to swallow our pride or if it is because I feel as if we have somehow failed as parents. Either way it is hard and I cannot wait until we no longer need the assistance but, I can see how it is such a blessing for families in need.
The Tuesday before Thanksgiving we made our way to Rochester to learn more about Livie's condition and hopefully schedule her surgery. We first met with her plastic surgeon, Dr Clay. I don't know how fair it is that my 2 month old little girl has a plastic surgeon before I do. He is a southern gentlemen full of facts and charm. He was very matter of fact and told it like it is, which is why I think we will get along great! This part may get a little graphic so prepare yourself before you start reading the rest of this. This type of surgery they like to wait to do when the baby is 7-8 months but since Livie has a more severe case he wanted to do her surgery at 6 months. What he meant by severe I do not know and I am not certain that I want to know. The reason they wait until the children are a little older is because there is less of a chance that it will fuse again and they will have more of their own blood supply. She will however still need a blood transfusion. I really was hoping to have the surgery done sooner but, once he explained to me why they needed to wait I completely understood.
The surgery for Livie will take approximately 3-3 1/2 hours. There will be a Nero-surgeon in there with him during the surgery. They will cut Livie from ear to ear across the top of her head in a zig-zag pattern. This will help when her hair comes in, there will not be a permanent part like if you just cut straight across. They will then remove the area that was fused. I have signed paperwork for them to use this for research. I will be notified if they ever find a cure or an answer as to why this happens. As of right now there is no answer as to what causes this to happen. They will remove the front top part of her skull and set it on a table and reshape it. Dr Clay says that an infants skull is still malleable and they are able to reshape it quite easily. He will then have to reshape her eye sockets. They will place her forehead back on her skull in a sort of hinge fashion. They will use plates and screws but, these will all dissolve into new bone as her skull continues to grow. There will be a drainage tube when she first comes out of surgery and she will be in a pediatric ICU. Everything will peak at 48 hours post surgery. This is when she will look her worst from all the swelling. I was standing there holding Livie when he was talking about all of this and I thought I was going to vomit right there at his feet. He was talking about this like it was nothing but, he was going to be doing this to my baby. We had questions that he had all the answers to and made me feel comfortable. He has 5 children of his own and as I looked closer at his tie I noticed there were Mickey Mouse heads in a pattern that unless you looked closely would have never noticed. I found this cute and knew at that moment he was the doctor we were looking for. He told us to think about all we had been told and to let his office know if we had decided to go through him for the surgery. He wanted to make sure that we like him because we would be seeing him for the next 16 years. I apologized to him in advance and told him it appeared as though he was going to have to put up with us for the next 16 years and at times it would be all 5 of us! Her surgery is scheduled for
March 16, 2011.
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